USF Fails to Enjoy Free Mustache Ride

Dude, you've been Wannst'ached. With a 26-21 at home loss in which USF looked absolutely awful, the Bulls join the ranks of, you know, other Florida teams who flailed horribly at home to inferior opponents.

It's just a law of the universe that that keeps anything from collapsing into chaos: USF will perform well, get cocky, a Florida loss will then enable USF to brag that it's the best team in the state, then USF will get its face stepped on in highly public fashion.

USF looked horrible against a Pitt team that pounded the ball through with running back McCoy. Grothe, the Bull's magic eight ball of a quarterback, came up with "Focus. Try again." The Bulls totally lacked focus, committing roughly one hundred thousand penalties.

Three cheers for USF's impending plummet down the polls!

Focus and ask again, Mr. Grothe. Focus, and ask again.

Fewer Arrests at UCF-USF than UF-UM

The Orlando Sentinel announces that there were fewer arrests UCF-USF game at the UF-UM game.

As if that were a good thing. When will people realize that we will not get the respect we deserve as a football school until there are more arrests at our game? At UCF there were 5 custodial arrests and 31 notices to appear (non-custodial arrests). UF police arrested 50 people.

We were saddened initially, until we realized this:

Attendance at the UCF game was about half that at the UF game. So proportionately, UCF may actually have had MORE arrests....

The UF statistic of 50 arrests does not specify whether notices to appear (non-custodial arrests) were counted separately (as UCF counted them) or incorporated into the "50 arrests" figure. If they were incorporated...then the UCF game DID in fact have a higher proportion of arrest-per-game-attendee!

Our quest for football school legitimacy continues!

USF's Leavitt Talks Trash About UCF Filling Stadium, Lacks Stadium of Own

USF Coach Jim Leavitt says, of the fact that USF's game against Kansas is not expected to sell out:

"Fifty-two thousand isn't bad," Leavitt said. "It's more than they got at Central Florida, right? By a bunch. And that's a sellout over there, right? I'm not making comparisons, and I probably shouldn't have said those things about them the other day. I'm not taking any of it back, but I mean, they have a good program. George (O'Leary) does a good job there."

This is sort of like us insulting Hugh Heffner for having insufficient numbers of bikini women in his grotto. We, of course, lack a grotto of our own (to say nothing of our wont of bikini women). Why would we cast aspersions on another man's grotto given such a condition?

Dear Jim: You do not have a stadium, so don't complain about how many people we cram into ours.

But wait! They play in Raymond James! News flash: it says "Buccaneers" in the end zone and has a god damn pirate ship. A god damn pirate ship. So that doesn't count.

And listen genius...The Dungeon has 45,301 seats. If it had more, believe me, we would will them for key games, too.

UCF-USF Hate Week: ...And USF had a Terrorist Professor, as Well

As if you weren't already enjoying trash-talking USF fans by calling their students terrorists, we'd like to note that one of their (now former, but current at the time) professors is a terrorist.

USF Professor Sami Al-Arian was arrested in 2003 on charges of funding terrorists. He was tried in 2005, and was acquitted of some of the charges, though the jury deadlocked on the nine other charges. Ultimately, Al-Arian pled guilty to conspiracy to provide services to the Palestinian Islamnic Jihad. AL-Arian served prison time and was deported.

Al-Arian taught computer science at USF. He was also the Director of the World and Islam Studies Enterprise, a USF-associated think tank.

UCF: Win on Saturday. Don't let the terrorists win!

UCF-USF Hate Week: (At Least Some) USF Students are Terrorists

We're pleased to announce that it is once more UCF-USF hate week. As you know (we hope), UCF and USF will be playing for the last time in the foreseeable future. Why? Because USF has a weird arrogance and their President hates the fan base.

In any case, this will be our last opportunity for a good, ol' fashioned UCF-USF hate week. Let's get your blood boiling with some things you may not be aware of, but will now certainly point out to all friends enemies frenimies who go to that commuter school at the ass end of I-4.

Did you know that (at least some) USF students are terrorists? Now you do!

In 2007, two USF students were indicted for transporting explosives and aiding terrorists by demonstrating the use of an explosive device. The two were arrested for having a pipe bomb in the trunk of their car... incidentally, that was near the U.S. Naval Consolidated Brig.

Now, we like to point out that we are absolute bleeding hearts who cherish our civil liberties and believe that people are innocent until proven guilty. However, we also believe, firmly, that there are no burdens of proof on the internet. Just ask this happy and informative feline:

And, in any case, one of the students has agreed to plead guilty to providing material support to terrorists. In addition to the whole "pipe bomb thang," the student distributed a video on the internet (yes, THE INTERNET!) describing how to turn a remote control toy into a detonator for a bomb. As his plea agreement states:

He said he wanted to teach “martyrdoms” and “suiciders” how to save themselves so they could continue to fight the invaders.

We don't know what's more atrocious-- the fact that he sought to facilitate terrorism, or that a USF education leads one to refer to people as "martyrdoms" and "suiciders."

(Hint: it's the first one).

Ladies and gentlemen, the USF student body! Let 'er rip.

How Did We Let This Slip By? Shauna Moffitt to Reimburse Sumter County For Time Spent Doing Husband's Homework On The Clock

Aaaah.....yes.

Quite a while ago, we noted that then-USF Linebacker Ben Moffitt essentially abandoned his wife and children. The two are undergoing a divorce, which we promised to follow up on and report if anything interesting happened (It hasn't. The parties just had a mediation conference, no idea of any agreement reached or not reached).

Wife Shauna claims that Ben Moffitt "doesn't know how to spell," and that she wrote his papers for him. Shauna claims that she wrote them at her workplace, the Sumter County Property Appraiser's Office. She is being required to reimburse the office for her time spent jamming out papers for her apparently illiterate husband.

We love it.

USF's Moffitt Unable to Spell, Properly Use Contraception

Many of you know that The Persistent Fool detests USF. A large part of that is due to the fact that this program lapped rival UCF, another program competing for respect. Another part of it is the fact that USF was the highest ranked football program in the state of Florida for a brief part of this season- that was heresy. Then, of course, there are the fans:

No caption could possibly do this image justice.

So it warmed the cockles of The Persistent Fool's heart to hear of USF linebacker Ben Moffitt's recent woes. Ah, sweet, sweet, Schadenfreude. The St. Petersburg Times reports that formerly-model husband and father of two Moffitt is going through a divorce with his wife of five (5!) years, Shauna.

Shauna has stated to the media that she wrote papers for Moffitt and took online classes for him. Additionally, Shauna's sister claims that she also wrote papers for Moffitt. Perhaps the most alarming/hilarious comment from Shauna Moffitt:

"[H]e doesn't know how to spell."

Ouch. In addition to failing to master the intricacies of the English language, Moffitt also does not understand the nuances of birth control. As the St. Pete Times article notes:

"Shauna Moffitt said Thursday that her husband left her with their two children, ages 5 and 3, on Nov. 11 - the day after the Bulls ended a three-game losing streak with a win at Syracuse - and has had limited contact with them since."

We should all feel bad for Shauna, whose now-deadbeat husband "has not done anything to support his family financially" since leaving the family's home. We should also feel bad for Shauna because she looks like she should be at home living under a bridge, waiting to eat unwary travelers.

Shauna Moffitt and family, circa 1/08.

Tampa Tribune Reports Awfulness of USF

Today's Tampa Tribune expounds on the awfulness of USF.

Brett McMurphy notes that USF lost because:

1. USF was severely outplayed.
2. USF was severely outcoached.
3. The Bulls were full of themselves.
4. The Bulls are notoriously bad performing front runners.
5. Oregon had a better plan.

So in other words...USF = Awful.

UCF fan, wrap this around you like a warm, warm, blanket. At least the Knights won their conference.

FSU fan, know that you are not alone in collapsing in a bowl game. Again.

UF fan, keep feeling superior, knowing that you have the undisputed best program in the state.

UM fan, you are still so fucked. Seriously.

Happy New Year!