Amazing Comments #3

Finally, something self-deprecating. Our previous 'Amazing Comments' posts have all taken aim at fans of Da U, who always astonish us when they manage to figure out how to use a keyboard.

This Amazing Comment is literate, and cuts to a UCF fan to the quick. It's a comment on the oh-so obvious Orlando Sentinel article, "UCF Football Player's Death Could Also Affect Team on Field:"

WOW, USF had a player die last year. After reading this article I now know that had that player not passed away at USF last year the score at the UCF USF game might have been 164 to 12.

Zing! Well done sir. Credit where credit is due.

Amazing Comments #2

Yes, yes . . . we know we're going back to the Miami Herald. Um, Again. It's easy pickings, but we promise to be more equal opportunity by mocking fans of other Florida schools in the future.

Miami Herald Gator blogger Joseph Goodman posted an article inviting readers to "Call [him] Crazy" because "UF Should Hire Roland Smith." Unsurprisingly, many posters left comments to the article calling Goodman just that.

Our Amazing Comment today comes from one such enthusiastic poster:

Your not only crazy your a f9cking loser and a moron and I hope you die in burning car. The day Coach Smith thinks about going to the Gay-Turds I will hunt you down.

Posted by: Goodman is a complete moron and a loser | February 15, 2008 at 08:43 PM

Let's see . . . Improper form of "you're?" Check.
(Twice?) Double check.
Strong curse spelled using a numeral? Check.
Semi-literate death wish? Check.
Semi-literate death threat? Check.
Obligatory use of "Gay-Turds?" Check.
Total to aversion to the noble comma? Check.

Oh, Joseph Goodman, please never die in burning car. Or in crashing plane. Or colliding train. Or exploding zeppelin. Or of any other possible death that's missing the vital element of an indefinite article.

For whatever reason, Goodman in a subsequent post proclaimed this to be the "Post of the Year so far":

Why don't you stupid ignorant girlie-men get a life. The jerk who says 'gayturds' all the time is an imbecile and a LOSER. Anyone who always belittles the opponent and people is stupid, lowlife, slimey, scUM. Learn to respect all people and opponents. UM is going to get better. FSU is going to get better. Florida has a long ways to go defensively before they can compete at the highest level again. The Miami and Florida game coming up in six months will be a high-scoring game that is a toss-up. The FSU/Florida game in eight months will be the same -- high scoring and a toss-up. RESPECT all people and all opponents. Then we can all have fun here and enjoy the STATE OF FLORIDA dominance in football again. Please people - GROW UP.

Clearly, the "Post of the Year so far" bar is set astoundingly low. A better candidate would be this individual, who responded to the second post:

Davey, just shut up! FB is not for girls or friendship, it's for rivalry’s.

Love the rivalry's. Especially the rivalry's. And angry fan.

Burning car!

Crashing plane!

Crashing plane on burning car!

Amazing Comments #1

Latest in our series of posts-designed-to-keep-you-reading-through-the-off-season, The Persistent Fool Presents: Amazing Comments!

Periodically, we'll find some of the best comments left on sports websites. They don't have to be idiotic sounding comments but, let's be honest, almost all of them will be.

For our first installment, we present this unadulturated comment, a response to a Miami Herald article noting that Cornelius Ingram is staying at Florida for his senior season. Let's repeat that a few times: the story is about Ingram staying, staying, staying, STAYING!

Without further ado:

Ha,ha,ha, scUM, AKA gaytors are losing players left and right!
Four losses, and another loss to the "U" is on the way!
Ha,ha,ha,ha! scUM=gaytors!
Ha,ha,ha,ha!

Posted by: UM Graduate | January 10, 2008 at 11:35 AM

Posted by "UM GRADUATE?!" Wow. This guy is on par with recent UF recruit and intellectual giant Ricky Barnum.