UCF compared to SMU: Just the Facts, Please

An Orlando Sentinel UCF blog post noted that SMU coach "June Jones says Knights are like SMU . . . Just Trying to find a way to win." We posted a comment saying that when your team is compared to SMU, you know you're in trouble. We drew this response:

I'm sorry, but we are not nearly as bad as SMU. Hopefully this comparison will wake up our team.

Posted by: ucfrocks | September 29, 2008 at 10:11 PM

Of course, it got us thinking...how do we compare? Here you go:

UCF SMU
Record 1-3 (o-1) 1-4 (0-2)
Avg. margin of loss 26.33 27.75
Total Completions 49.1% 54.9%
Total Passing Yards 530 1383
Total Rushing Yards 602 180

Yep. We're both pretty awful. The difference in the average margin of loss is pretty negligible. Apparently, SMU can air it out a little but, but they move the ball on the ground even worse than the Knights do.

And yes, this Saturday, both teams will be trying to beat their first Division 1 opponent of the season. Oh, by the way: UCF is now an ESPN Bottom 10 team. And deservedly so.

If BC Fans Ran the Country, We Would Lose the War on Terror

We recently arrived home from a wonderful trip to Boston. After taking in some extremely serious meetings on Friday, we enjoyed did not weep openly at the BC-UCF game. Observations:

1. BC Fans are Unsure of What to Do at a Football Game. No cursing, threatening, shouting, cheering, clapping of hands or stamping of feet. Indeed, we are fairly certain that BC fans lack the tendons needed to stand. The SEC, this was not. Hell, the C-USA, this was not. By comparison . . .

2. Six UCF Fans are Louder than an Entire Section of BC Fans. We are very proud of our fellow UCF fans. We used to complain loudly, bitterly, and often that UCF fans were insufficiently passionate about their team. Consider the complaints withdrawn. UCF fans are rowdier by far than the meek and feeble BC fans.

3. But that guy Brad was pretty cool. We did have one of the most pleasant half time conversations with Brad, the only BC fan in earshot who cheered like someone at a football game. And UCF was even leading at the time! If this were an SEC game he would have preemptively smashed us in the face with a whiskey bottle and dragged us out to his mobile home/ meth lab/ redneck torture chamber.

Northeast liberals just don't understand preemption.

4. A plague on all of your kickers. Even the BC fans were not as awful as the kickers from both teams. Seriously, y'all are very bad at football. Two kicks bounce off the posts? Ridiculous short misses. Unacceptable. What is wrong with the kickers? What could make them so profoundly, profoundly terrible?

Oh. Well, it all makes sense, then.

5. We sorely miss 24K and his amateur status. How is that whole "going pro early" thing working out for you, anyway? Pretty mediocre you say?

6. What a Disheartening Season this will be. When you get schooled by a team playing as turnover-tastic as BC, you know it's going to be a long, long season. We only have one BCS school left to try and upset and that is not going to happen. We saw Miami play, and they are going to reduce the Knights to a bloody smear when the teams meet in October.

Some Cheese for Moffett's Whine?

What pairs well with the crushing disillusionment of realizing you suck at football? Why, complaints that your football coach cursed at you!

The Orlando Sentinel has published an article setting forth former Knights QB Steven Moffet's complaints against Coach George O'Leary. Apparently, this football coach cursed at an underperforming player! Oh, no! Someone speak to the press...a year after the fact! What does Moffett say O'Leary yelled at him? Here we go:

"[O'Leary] said I was worth [expletive] . . ."
"You stupid [expletive] idiot."

Oh, no! Mr. Moffett, please circle which of the above statements is not true.

I'm waiting.
Still waiting.
Give it some time.
Ok?
Ok.

Moffett was worth a whole heap of [expletive] and his on-field performance definitively showed him to be a stupid [expletive] idiot. The Sentinel article implies that George O'Leary is the one who destroyed Moffett's career:

"For a coach, there is a fine line between motivation and intimidation. One pushes you into excellence. The other pushes you into despair."

Frankly, I for one wish O'Leary had cursed him even more. God knows I spent enough time in the Citrus Bowl doing just that. Fact: Steven Moffett is a football failure. The Orlando Sentinel writes wistfully of the offers he turned down from "Florida, Georgia, South Carolina and Southern Mississippi" for an opportunity to blossom at UCF.

Listen. Steven Moffett was not going to blossom anywhere. And if a little [expletive] was going to keep him from blossoming? Then he was pursuing the wrong career altogether. What is he doing with his life now? "He plays for the AFL 2 Daytona Thunderbirds and is an assistant coach at Winter Park."

The AFL 2 Daytona Thunderbirds? Holy [expletive]! Clearly, his professional failure is Coach O'Leary, the bad, evil, nasty coach who, of all things, curses at players! If not for these mean spirited words, I am sure he would be winning Super Bowls. Probably winning them singlehandedly.

Yes, O'Leary is one cantankerous dude. Is he coarse? No kidding. We remember a frat brother of ours who introduced himself to O'Leary (an alumnus of our fraternity). Coach's reply? "Well what the fuck do you want me to do about it?" Yes, George O'Leary is abrasive. Does that make him responsible for Moffett's failure? No. Does it make him a bad coach? No. He's done more with a historically underwhelming program than anyone else.

If you can't take the heat...uh, maybe you shouldn't play football at this level.