So THAT was Interesting.

Loved seeing the Gators absolutely destroy LSU. Blah blah LSU lines are going to push UF around blah blah. Admittedly, we were among those predicting that LSU would win. But at least we did properly predict that the Gators would smoke the Tigers secrondary. And they did.

We have to give no end of respect to the LSU fans, who stayed in the stands long, long, long after a Gator fan would have retreated in the face of that horrible pummelling. EDSBS recently pointed out a contrast between Tiger and Gator fans:

Your team is down four touchdowns at halftime. How do you react to the GameDay cameras?
A. [sullen stare that could freeze nitrogen while pressing cellphone to ear]
B. “FUUUUCK YEEEEEW WWOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAHGERS GON GITCHA!!!” [shows breasts, regardless of gender]

In fact, we were still disappointed in a few of our fellow Gator fans. Disappointed? Yes. We were violently shushed, by two different UF fans in the student section. In. The. Student. Section. No, we were not swearing. Merely howling loudly when the Gators were on defense. Like, you know, you're suppossed to. We'll definitely cop to being excessively loud in the stands. Like, you know, you're suppossed to.

If you cannot get jacked up about crushing LSU in a night game at the Swamp that was national championship implications than I pity you. You should probably stay home and put tissue boxes on your feet. Seeing a college football game just isn't for you.

GO GATORS, and Go GATOR FANS.

We Happy Few

WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here
But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!

KING. What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

LSU 21. Gators, roughly a bajillion.

Worrisome Weekend

What a worrisome (but exciting) weekend. UF gets LSU at home, and UCF travels to Miami to play the 'Canes. Despite the fact that the professional gamblers favor UF by 4, we're extremely worried that LSU will win. Frankly, they just look like the better team. Then again...their defense has not been what it should be. An anemic Auburn offense hung 21 on LSU in a game LSU edged them out with 5 points. Lowely Mississippi State put up 24 against LSU in a ten point loss. LSU's two other wins? DIV II App State and North Texas, one of the only two winless schools in Div I football.

Meanwhile, UCF seems to have no hope whatsoever. We've seen Miami play live this season, and despite their poor record, they look much better than a UCF team that had to edge out SMU. However, if UM is going to be vulnerable, this is the time. The team and fan are no doubt tropically depressed over two tough home losses. UM fans are notoriously fickle, and are not coming to this game. The team is young, the coaching staff is bad in terms of game day coaching. Also, UM has a ton of injuries, including several starters. UM's loss against FSU has shown that they're vulnerable to a mobile QB-- and I think Greco has better wheels than Ponder. Also, UM's passing game against UCF's secondary is a favorable match-up. Their receiving corps drops a helluva lot of passes. Joe Burnett any body? Sha'reff's also great.

If only UCF were a little bit better, this would be a great opportunity to beat UM and start boasting of being better than (at least) someone in the state. But, we can't control the football, can't complete a pass, can't do much of anything. We beat a DIV II school, and SMU, one of the worst teams in the country.

We'll see. . . but this one is going to go UM's way.

Lassos, Snoop Dog, and an Elf

WTF, Y'all? A selection of bizarre news for you today.

1. George O'Leary has a plan for slowing down Miami this weekend:

"Lassos. Issue lassos to your team and hope they can get them," [O'Leary] said.

He then went on to say something about playing position defense and maybe, maybe, not sucking this week. We stopped listening after the lassos bit, actually. The depressing thing is that this idea is his best coaching strategem at UCF (narrowly edging out the perennial favorite: run on first down, run on second down, throw an incomplete pass on third down, punt on fourth down).

Incidentally, UM is going to be playing crippled on Saturday, if this list of injuries is any indication.

2. LSU coach Les Miles is down with his own bad self . . . and Snoop:

Snoop Dogg came on stage during a Miles press conference, and the coach busted out a few spontaneous lines from Snoop Dogg songs, including “Sensual Seduction.” “My performance? I think I’m the worst rapper in the history of rap,” Miles said. “My performance is certainly something that was no more than a weak attempt at Snoop’s style of music.”

Urban Meyer's comment when told of this?

“Les is friends with Snoop?” Meyer said. “Good for him.”

3. Elf? But who gets to be the half-naked barbarian babe? Texas Tech coach Mike Leach calls Wide Receiver Eric Morris "The Elf."

"He calls me the evil elf because he has all these different things: elves are small, they're generally pretty mean and they corner well," Morris told the Tech student newspaper the Daily Torreador. "They're good with a dagger -- he goes on and on about how elves have different traits, and he thinks that I fit the traits of an elf. He thinks that I do well with the football in my hands and calls the football my dagger."

This is an image of an evil elf. We know this, because it is what google image search told us. We are unclear on how this evil elf wipes himself. Probably very, very carefully.

UCF Kicker in Weird Position of Playing Team He Was on Last Year

Well . . . isn't that awkward?

The Orlando Sentinel notes that kicker Daren Daly transferred from UM to UCF and received a waiver in order not miss a year. He is taking graduate courses only offered at UCF. Here's what GOL had to say in the Sentinel blog post:

When I was in preseason when we got a call on that I was surprised what was going on, but the recommendations that came back on him were very good. We just followed up. He had to do all the work. We didn't do any work as far as applying for a hardship.

"I think he is a very mature kid who has his goals set in mind. I was just talking to him last night. He wants to be a GA eventually someplace and eventually get a sports management degree and head off to the NFL in an administrative capacity, so he has his game plan set already as far as what he'd like to do with himself. I think the way the situation worked out, I don't know what happened at Miami. I never really even called there or asked about it. I do know he's a pretty good kicker, and he's healthy now. He kicked for us last week in all the phases and he'll do the same this week."

The Plebeians Speak

Mike Bianchi's Orlando Sentinel sports blog invites the plebeians to supply reasons why UCF will beat UM on Saturday, because he certainly cannot.

We'll keep our fingers crossed for one of the following (they'll be our only hope):

1. Entire UM team wiped out as the result of gang violence.
2. Mass overdoses whittle away UM squad.
3. Stray meteor destroys UM coaching staff.
4. Massive injuries continue.

Perhaps the best "reason why UCF will beat UM" that a reader supplied?

Mike, UCF only needs two things to win. First, UCF must have a higher score than Miami. Second, Miami must have a lower score. If UCF can accomplish those two things, they are almost guaranteed a win.

Posted by: Recovering UCF Fan | October 07, 2008 at 03:44 PM

We salute you, sir or madam, we salute you.

"Boycott the Sentinal! Go UCF!"

Our passing game is almost as good as our spelling.Shortly before the UCF-SMU game, fans hired a plane to fly a banner reading, "Boycott the Sentinal! Go UCF!" The proposed boycott is presumably a response to the Orlando Sentinel's harsh coverage of George O'Leary.

You know, this is the sort of spelling-related nonsense we expect from vital-chromosome-lacking USF fans. Ah, well.

Please let us know if you have a picture of this amazing banner.

Knights Win Last Game of Season!

When you have to survive SMU at home, you know you are not winning any more games this season. Okay, maybe UAB. MAYBE.

Still, we'll take it for the win that it is. Neither of the hand-off artists that we call quarterbacks performed in great fashion, though cheers to Greco for that 54 yard bomb. Jeers to Calabrese. 5 of 9 for 32? Pretty uninspiring, dude.

Looks like Ronnie Weaver will be good when he grows up. Joe Burnett continues to be amazing. Looking forward to seeing this guy on Sundays.

USF Fails to Enjoy Free Mustache Ride

Dude, you've been Wannst'ached. With a 26-21 at home loss in which USF looked absolutely awful, the Bulls join the ranks of, you know, other Florida teams who flailed horribly at home to inferior opponents.

It's just a law of the universe that that keeps anything from collapsing into chaos: USF will perform well, get cocky, a Florida loss will then enable USF to brag that it's the best team in the state, then USF will get its face stepped on in highly public fashion.

USF looked horrible against a Pitt team that pounded the ball through with running back McCoy. Grothe, the Bull's magic eight ball of a quarterback, came up with "Focus. Try again." The Bulls totally lacked focus, committing roughly one hundred thousand penalties.

Three cheers for USF's impending plummet down the polls!

Focus and ask again, Mr. Grothe. Focus, and ask again.

O'Leary Round-Up

1. O'Leary? Yes, there are a few issues there, Mike Bianchi. Good article discussing the good and bad (but mostly bad) of King George.

2. It's possible that George also has a few player management problems. There's the howling at a player who subsequently passed out on a leg press machine, ruining Steven Moffett's potential with his rough language, and, some would say, working a player to death. Who knows? At this point he may even be nipple clamping players directly to weight machines.

There's also this, from former UCF-stud-turned-much-bigger-NFL-Stud Brandon Marshall:

"[O'Leary] was a guy that told me on my pro day when I was stretching getting ready to run routes for the scouts that I didn’t have the ability to play receiver in the league because I couldn’t get separation."

Good motivation there, George. Also: good eye for talent.

UCF has a Very Bad Plan

Oh, look-- "UCF is inviting parents, students, and fans to learn more about its academic programs before the [SMU] game." This is a very bad plan. Or, depending on your perspective, an amazingly hilarious plan.

Nothing like drunk-as-Hell tailgaters mixing with those "academic" types. Beer bong with the Dean?

SMU Worst Rushing Offense in D-1

BAP. There you go. If UCF can't beat the school with the worst rushing offense, King George should be shot out of a cannon into outer space.