Tuesday, February 26, 2008

eBay It!

The Orlando Sentinel reported in its "Swamp Things" blog that former Gator Steven Harris's 2006 BCS National Championship Ring ended on eBay. The Sentinel refers to Harris's money problems, noting that he "has struggled to support his family -- he had fathered at least three children before finishing his time at UF." At least three children? At least? Steven Harris, you are very BAD AT BIRTH CONTROL. Of course, he's not the only football player to ever fail at contraception. Harris was under contract for the Broncos, so he's surely not totally impoverished at the moment despite, ah, at least three mouths to feed.

The Sentinel later posted Harris's response that it was not his ring. Meanwhile, the auction has been taken off of eBay.

This incident makes us think back to last year, when one of our ol' frat brothers who operates an Orlando pawn shop talked with Florida player who was trying to sell his BCS ring. The shop only offered a little more than $1000, and the player declined to sell. Said frat brother, however, could not identify the player.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Amazing Comments #2

Yes, yes . . . we know we're going back to the Miami Herald. Um, Again. It's easy pickings, but we promise to be more equal opportunity by mocking fans of other Florida schools in the future.

Miami Herald Gator blogger Joseph Goodman posted an article inviting readers to "Call [him] Crazy" because "UF Should Hire Roland Smith." Unsurprisingly, many posters left comments to the article calling Goodman just that.

Our Amazing Comment today comes from one such enthusiastic poster:

Your not only crazy your a f9cking loser and a moron and I hope you die in burning car. The day Coach Smith thinks about going to the Gay-Turds I will hunt you down.

For whatever reason, Goodman in a subsequent post proclaimed this to be the "Post of the Year so far":

Why don't you stupid ignorant girlie-men get a life. The jerk who says 'gayturds' all the time is an imbecile and a LOSER. Anyone who always belittles the opponent and people is stupid, lowlife, slimey, scUM. Learn to respect all people and opponents. UM is going to get better. FSU is going to get better. Florida has a long ways to go defensively before they can compete at the highest level again. The Miami and Florida game coming up in six months will be a high-scoring game that is a toss-up. The FSU/Florida game in eight months will be the same -- high scoring and a toss-up. RESPECT all people and all opponents. Then we can all have fun here and enjoy the STATE OF FLORIDA dominance in football again. Please people - GROW UP.

Clearly, the "Post of the Year so far" bar is set astoundingly low. A better candidate would be this individual, who responded to the second post:

Davey, just shut up! FB is not for girls or friendship, it's for rivalry’s.

Love the rivalry's. Especially the rivalry's. And angry fan.


Burning car!


Crashing plane!




Crashing plane on burning car!


Monday, February 18, 2008

Start Crossing Your Fingers Now!

Readers who know us well are aware of our deep desire to see UCF in a conference that is not, you know, awful. This is perhaps our most fervent desire, or at the very least our most fervent desire not involving glistening oil and several achondroplastic dwarfs and a pony or three.

We're found of pointing out that the Big East is perfect for UCF to get shuffled into. There were two Florida teams in the Big East once upon a time, let's see it again! It's a conference we can win in, too (uh, vis a vis football, anyway). It looks like someone agrees with us, and he has much greater readership! College Football News writes:

There’s no question that the Big East would like to expand a bit to get bigger and more prominent, but it will only happen if it can figure out a way to get up to 12 teams to be able to pull in the revenue from a championship game. The problem would be finding the four teams to make it happen, and making geographic sense . . . I have no inside knowledge and am merely speculating here, but my guess for the four teams would be all from Conference USA: East Carolina, UCF, Memphis, and then either Southern Miss or Marshall.

UCF entering the Big East . . . that's the dream for any long-suffering UCF fan. Including this one. Keep your fingers crossed, as who knows when the next conference reshuffling will be.


Yes, I want UCF into the Big East more than I want even this.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Late-Breaking! Patriots Actually Super Bowl Champs!

It's not too damn timely, but this article printed in the New York Times last year is too fascinating to pass up.

The article discusses the immediate-post game distribution of Super Bowl Champion clothing to members of the winning team. Of course, to hedge manufacturer's bets, batches of clothing are pre-printed based on the opposite outcome (i.e. Patriots Win!).

The NFL dictates that this "loser" set of championship gear is never to be shown on TV or distributed in the United States. Instead, it is distributed to a relief organization, World Vision. World vision packages the clothing and sends it to developing countries.

Thus, folks in developing countries are running around wearing garments proclaiming the Patriots to be this year's Super Bowl Champs. It makes us more than a little giddy to know that some people, if indeed they can read English, believe New England to have won.

Of course, one wonders... is this where all the recent BCS "non-Champ" shirts have gone?

O-H-I-O!

College Football News Reviews the Recruiting Classes

College Football News has its breakdown of recruiting classes. For the Knights, CFN predicts that Steven Robinson will be the star of the class, with Jarvis Geathers and Chris Martin being potential immediate impact players.

The run down on Florida's recruiting class is less interesting. Gee, Will Hill is the star, and Omar Hunter and Carl Moore have the potential to make an immediate impact. ... Shocking, really. However, it does give us a reason to post our favorite photo of Omar Hunter:


Omar Hunter get second billing to Will Hill? Omar Hunter SMASH! SMASH! BLOOD! BLOOD!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

UM Football Schedule Released

UM has released its football schedule for 2008. The highlights as far as we're concerned?
- UM v. UF at Florida on 9/6.
- UM v. UCF at Miami on 10/11.

Both should be decent games. Florida hasn't beaten Miami since 1984. The two teams haven't played on a regular basis since 1987.

Gator's Hire USF's McCarney

UF has hired Dan McCarney as a defensive assistant. McCarney previously head coached for Iowa State, and more recently was the assistant head coach and defensive line coach for USF. He has coached monster defenses, including USF's brutal George Selvie.

This news come after rumors that the Gators may be losing co-defensive coordinator Mattison to the NFL.

We welcome this hire! McCarney gives us visions of barbarian linemen hordes storming and, uh, maybe making a tackle for a loss.
CONAN MAKES TACKLE FOR LOSS!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Recruiting Run-Down

UF recruitment went well, despite two defections. Rivals.com has the UF class at number 3 overall.
The Gators have also picked up their first verbal commitment for 2009-- Greg Reid. Reid visited the campus on Junior day, and is a long time Gator Fan.

Miami kicked ass, ending up #4. FSU ended up in the top ten as well.

USF ended up with the 55th ranked class, with UCF just behind them at #56. If that sticks in your craw, Knight fan, note this: only one mid-major program had a better ranked recruiting class than the Knights did. Of course, that's in-division rival Southern Miss. who somehow managed to entice a 5-star recruit into playing for its humble program.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Brandon Harris Goes to Miami

Ah....well. Brandon Harris chose Miami over Ohio State and UCF.

Miami fans get to revel in a great recruiting year, and also chant DA U DA U DA U any number of times.

UCF gets another reminder that it's still eating at the kid's table, rather than with the grown-ups.

....and OSU still sucks.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Brandon Harris...Still up in the Air

Brandon Harris is still up in the air as far as the commitment issue goes, according to the Miami Herald. UCF is still in it:

''It was a nice trip. It was productive. I got a lot of it touring the campus and facility,'' Harris said. ``I know people think I'm crazy, but UCF -- they're in it. People don't see what I see and the experience I had. It was a wonderful time.

``The best part about it was the direction they're headed in with Coach O'Leary. He has a vision and a plan of where he wants the program to go. They just got a new stadium on campus. They're like a college town atmosphere. It's not too close to home, it's not too far from home. It's in the perfect location.''

``I'd say it's them three -- Miami, Ohio State and UCF -- and LSU is closing in. It's a possibility I could go to Florida. I feel good about those five. But it goes back to those three. It's just what I feel.''

Inside the Mind of a UM Recruiting Fan

The Sun-Sentinel delves into the mind of an obsessive, over-excited UM recruiting fan:

UM5STAR: Guys like me are what we call DACs. Distant Assistant Coaches. Our job is to go on every message board and basically plea and beg for top recruits to become a Cane. We are like Randy's soldiers. We give the recruits the added attention. We make them feel like stars before they even arrive on campus. I do my flyin' around for Coach Shannon at the keyboard.

Hilarious. Even better: Canes fans on other message boards getting obsessive, over-excited, and overheated about the parody article:

Shandel from sun-sentinel is making fun of UM fans!!!!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Post Super Bowl Thoughts

Helluva game.

We so, so, so badly wanted our favorite Knight Alumnus Asante Samuel to intercept that pass that would have ended the game. He got his feet down, but didn't snag the ball. My God, the monumental disappointment and agony on his face was incredible. We couldn't find a screen capture of it. Fortunately, however, we do have this artistic rendering:
"Samuel Failing to Make Game-Sealing Interception," by Edvard Munch, February 3, 2008. Oil, tempera, and pastel on cardboard.

Helluva game.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Miami Herald on UCF Recruiting

The Miami Herald has the most complete article I have read anywhere this year dealing with UCF recruiting. Yes, for some reason The Miami Herald has delved deeper into UCF than The Orlando Sentinel. Perhaps it's because Mike Bianchi is too busy smearing Urban Meyer.

The Herald discusses how UCF's phenomenal facilities have helped lure good recruits, including the running back I'm pinning my future hopes on, Brynn Harvey, to UCF rather than BCS schools. Love that 45,000 seat Bright House Stadium.

Rivals.com ranks UCF's class #58 in the country
, one behind those evil USF bovines. UCF also has the most three star recruits that it has had since O'Leary Took over.


We got us some facilities.