Tebow, who was home-schooled for 12 years before college, has a 3.77 grade point average at Florida. He spent his spring break visiting orphans and sick children in the Philippines, where his parents are missionaries.
What, no mentions of the many surgeries he performed there? No mention that Tim Tebow can in fact believe it's not butter? Well, regardless, that sweet GPA and 10 days of volunteerism certainly qualifies Tebow to receive "the highest citizens honor the Senate can bestow."
The Florida House of Representations also honored Tebow with a resolution. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the full text of HR 9177, Timothy "Tim" Tebow:
Commends Tim Tebow for his academic & athletic accomplishments, recognizes him for his character & compassion toward his fellow human beings, & congratulates him on his historic recognition in being awarded 2007 Heisman Trophy.
After receiving this honor, Tebow "threw several passes to Speaker Marco Rubio, R-West Miami." What is it with Speaker Rubio? This guy has must have the most achingly unfulfilled football fantasies. Astute football/state politics enthusiasts (all three of you) will recall two years ago when Rubio bobbled a pass from Dan Marino on the House floor. Again, we're sure there was a valid legislative purpose underlying that as well.
This is probably the most important legislative event since Hoopz from Flava of Love came to the state Capitol. Yes, we were there. Jesus, the legislators were more excited for that than they were for Newt Gingrich's visit a week or so later.
Not that we blame them, really.
At the risk of getting bogged down in further editorializing, we give you The People's Work:
Tim Tebow's tears can fix Florida's homeowner's insurance crisis. Too bad he's never cried.
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