Wednesday, January 30, 2008

UF Entices Linebacker, Back To Best Recruiting Class

William Green, a 4 star linebacker, has committed to the Gators. Green is the 7th ranked outside linebacker in the country, and according to Rivals.com, the #83 overall prospect.

Hopefully this will go better than, you know, the other guy named Green that Gators recruited this season.

And yes, the Gators once again have the best recruiting class in the country.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Foolish Hopes For Brandon Harris

The Orlando Sentinel notes that Brandon Harris, the number 3 corner recruit in the country is choosing between Ohio State, Miami . . . and UCF.

Yes, we noted that this was bizarre in an earlier post.

The Sentinel's Kyle Hightower points out recent comments by Harris:
"At this point, the two schools that stand out are Ohio State and Miami . . . They've made me feel comfortable around them, the program and their players. When we did our home visits, we just didn't talk about football, but about life in general. We were able to relate on different issues. They made my parents feel comfortable, we grew to trust them and that they would take care of me if I were to choose their school. Actually, I feel the same way about Central Florida. They made me feel like I can trust them. If I were to go there, I'd be in good hands.

Hightower notes, "UCF has 18 commitments following the weekend commitment of Brynn Harvey. That number would go up to 19 with Harris." Of course, this is roughly equivalent to saying "If I found a million dollars tomorrow, I'd have a million dollars and six cents in liquid assets!"

UCF fans should congratulate themselves for having a program (apparently), but Harris is not going to be a Knight. If he wants to play in state, he'd go to Miami. If he wants to play for National Championships, he'd go to Ohio State.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Stadium That Care Forgot

As many of you know, the last game ever played in the Orange Bowl happened just the other day-- flag football between former Dolphins and former 'Canes. Here's an essay written by Scott Holtz memorializing the Orange Bowl. It was penned shortly before the last college game played in the stadium and is reprinted with permission.

The Stadium That Care Forgot
By Scott Holtz
Scott dot Holtz at gmail dot com

I find myself sitting in Natural Resources Law (much more boring that
it sounds, if you can believe it), and instead of the usual course of
Cricklers, Chess, and College Football blog checking, I want to talk
about the black cloud that hangs over me this week- the death of the
Orange Bowl.

The Critics
1. No one will miss that old dump.
2. Why do you even care about that toilet?
3. Miami sucks anyway.
- a representative sample

Yeah, all of you who have said one of the above (or a variation) to me
are right. The Orange Bowl is a dingy, old stadium. It's full of
obstructed views. There's a mysterious yellow liquid that comes down
from the upper deck onto the people directly below the vents in the
overhang (everyone prays it's beer). I just wish that you all could
look at it and see what I see.

I could easily explain the Orange Bowl's cemented place as a football
shrine. (As if ubersentimental ESPN won't do enough of that on
Saturday.) Here's a very inexhaustive overview:
NFL- Super Bowl III (Jets over Colts), The Longest Game Ever Played,
Miami gives Chicago it's only loss of 1985- on Monday Night
Football-preserving the 1972 Dolphins' record, home of the 1972
Dolphins, hosted 5 Super Bowls, Finkle is Einhorn-Einhorn is Finkle,
the debut of Dan Marino.

NCAA- Record 58 game home winning streak, Miami won three of 5
National Championships in Orange Bowl, home of the Orange Bowl-the
second oldest bowl-from 1937-1995 and again in 1999, Wide Right II and
Wide Left that decided trips to the National Championship for Miami
and FSU, the Gator Flop, 1989 #2 Miami ends #1 Notre Dame's 18 game
winning streak and a bid for a repeat National Championship winning
before the largest crowd in OB history and converting on 3rd and 43
from inside the 5 yard line, Miami Florida State's first National
Championship, Tom Osborne's first National Championship.

But when I shed a tear as a walk out of the Old Lady for the last
time, those great moments will likely be far from my mind. The Orange
Bowl is where I saw my first football game when I was four years old.
It's where I spent practically every fall Saturday until I was
thirteen. Only there would they put the Family Section in one half of
the endzone and the rowdiest, drunken fans of the cheap seats in the
other half of the same endzone. I was a six-year old kid when I was
taught how to turn the "Tomahawk Chop" into the Italian gesture for
"Fuck You" and to call them "Semenholes." I was eight before I figured
out what that meant. Sometimes when I cross the street I flash back to
my dad grabbing my hand screaming, "Let's Go!" and yanking me across
the street to the stadium as cars bore down on us. I'll miss the
80-year old ladies who can't speak English beyond calling out,
"Shiski! Shiski!" The first Gator player I can remember recognizing?
#9 Shane Matthews. Know why? The mural on the wall of the Orange Bowl
Bar that faces the stadium. First memory at a sporting event? Nov. 25,
1989- Miami 27 Notre Dame 10 in front of a then record 81,000 plus. At
night. The stadium was so packed that we were two to a seat on the
bleachers in the West Endzone. There won't be General Admission at
Dolphins Stadium, so next year some little kid won't get the same
experience I did of being put up on Dad's shoulders while he and Mom
raced up the ramp to get good seats. Dolphins Stadium won't thunder
the same way the Orange Bowl does when everyone stamps on the floor
during a big play or when Sebastian beckons a the stadium to make as
much noise as possible before a C-A-N-E-S, CANES! I had my first beer
at a game in the Orange Bowl. I shook Warren Sapp's hand when my
friend and I snuck onto the field before a game-they almost kicked our
parents out.

So, excuse me if I wax nostalgic this week for a grand old stadium
that like so many other things and people was let down by the City of
Miami. I'm not just saying goodbye to a building, I'm saying goodbye
to a big part of my childhood. And a big part of my love of the Canes.

Oh, and if you just don't get the bond someone can have for a stadium
that houses so many memories, or for the profound effect that sports
can have on a person's life, then I pity you.

Sutton Too Dumb to Breath Unaided, Sinks UF Recruiting Class to #2

Gator Recruit Chaz Sutton failed to qualify academically, meaning that the Gator's recruiting class has now dropped to #2. Funny, it wasn't too long ago that we mocked his classmate and would-be Gator recruit Franklin Green for failing to qualify. The loss of Chaz also means that the Gators are denied the opportunity to have both a Chaz and a Chas on the team simultaneously.

Chaz Sutton is therefore too dumb to breath without assistance.


Breath, Chaz Sutton! BREATH

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Whatever Happened to UCF Recruiting, Anyway?

Uh, not too damn much.

UCF has the 61st ranked recruiting class, according to Rivals.com. UCF has no five star commits (obviously) and no four star commits, though ten of UCF's 17 recruits are rated with three stars. Though that's pretty lackluster, the only C-USA school with a better recruiting class is Southern Miss., currently ranked at 54.

Those singlet-wearing dirty USF bastards sit at number 57. Florida, Florida State and Miami have classes ranked 1, 6, and 8 respectively.

Foolish Reporting From the AAFL Post-Draft Party

We had the good fortune to attend the post-draft party for AAFL Team Florida. We had a fantastic time meeting former Florida greats, including Travis McGriff, who invited us. We also bent the ear of a self-effacing Chris Leak, whom we thanked for that whole National Championship thing last year. Perhaps the most absurd comment overheard as we mingled was "Dude, Chris Doering is so drunk right now." Doerings got a vodka! Doerings got a vodka! That's something you don't hear every day.

Yes, we also saw Darren "D'Lish," the best sports agent we know. And, in fact, the only sports agent we know. (Look, dude, a shout-out.)

The event was surreal, owing in no small part due to the quinceanera going on nearby, which seemed at times to blend with the AAFL party in a confusing way. The ratio of skanky women to players was extraordinarily high. A plethora of apparent hookers attended, wearing a variety of animal print items and almost a whole square foot of fabric each. We can honestly say we've never seen so many zebra skin stoles-- anywhere. Tempted as we were to take photos, we refrained out of fear of getting nailed in the eye with a stiletto. Even more hilarious was the cluster of scantily clad women lurking outside the ropes, held at bay by the bouncers. Just fantastic.

All in all, a great time, and a hilarious one. We are totally rooting for the AAFL to succeed.


Is there a nobler death than sacrificing yourself for a skank to look hilarious?

Colt Brennan Performs Miserably at Senior Bowl

We've pointed out that Colt Brennan is overrated. We've gloated gleefully after Brennan's Sugar Bowl beating. Recently, we pointed out that Brennan stunk in Senior Bowl practices.

He, uh, still stinks. In Senior Bowl play, Brennan went 2 for 6 for 29 yards and one interception.

Does The Persistent Fool's heart good.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Persistently Foolish with the AAFL

The Persistent Fool is pleased to announce that we will be partying with the AAFL's Team Florida at the post-draft party on Saturday. AAFL? You have no idea what this is? Neither does anyone else.

The AAFL is a new professional football leagu
e, destined to die after one or two seasons. The franchises are all based in college towns, and all players must hold four year college degrees. "To the extent practical, graduates of host universities will play for the team hosted by their alma mater." There are currently six teams-- none have nicknames: Team Florida, Team Arkansas, Team Alabama, Team Michigan, Team Tennessee, and Team Texas.

We would love it if the AAFL actually survived- it would give us football to obsess with in the off-season (though, I guess it's the All-American Football League's ON-season).

How did we score an invite to party with former Gator greats such as Shane Matthews and Chris leak? We'd like to say it was because Team Florida is trying to curry favor with the critically important media outlet that is The Persistent Fool.

...right. It's actually thanks to a certain Bar Association. Hooray for special privileges!

We'll update you on the event on Saturday . . .

Why are our Readers Interested in Pretty Mexican Brides?

This blog uses Google Adwords. No, no one's ever clicked on one-- ever. That's ok. We feel good knowing that in roughly two thousand years, we will have earned three cents from them.

Normally, these seem pretty well keyed in to the contents of this site-- Gator gear, Knights ringtones, bowl betting tips. But for some reason, this appeared today:

is Waiting for You. Browse 100s of Profiles & Find Your Perfect Match!
latinwomensite.com

I wonder what contextual detail Adwords must have fixated on to come up with this gem. Truly bizarre.

Fantastic Rebuttal to Mike Bianchi's Article Accussing Meyer of Cheating

For those not aware, Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi published a highly specious column: Urban Meyer Should Pay If He Broke Recruiting Rules. The column contains essentially naked accusations and unsourced statements. As one individual who commented on the story noted:

"Meyer should pay IF he broke recruiting rules" Thats a pretty strong statement, Mike. Here's a good headline: "Mike Bianchi should pay if he molested little boys."

We wish we had thought of that first. In any case, the blog Saurian Sagacity has posted a phenomenal rebuttal using, yes, FACTS. If you're interested, check it out. Otherwise, continue to ignore what is, essentially, a non-story.

Colt Brennan Still Overrated as of Today

Sports Illustrated notes that Colt Brennan is still unimpressive at the Senior Bowl:

Colt Brennan, QB, Hawaii: Brennan had a lot to gain this week but in the end fell short. His poor arm strength is troubling, as it gave defensive backs more than enough time to break up his passes. Scouts feel there is a place for Brennan as a backup signal-caller in a timing offense, yet most agree he presently grades as a mid-to-late round draft pick.

God, we hate that guy.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

NEWS FLASH: Colt Brennan Still Overrated

The Persistent Fool hates the Hawaii Rainbow Warriors. The Persistent Fool hates June Jones, their now former coach. The Persistent Fool especially hates Colt Brennan.

We moaned endlessly during the season when Hawaii got props for going unbeaten through a creampuff regular season schedule. We watched gleefully as Georgia pummeled the Hell out of Hawaii (and Brennan in particular) in the Sugar Bowl. We blogged about the amazing comments left on ColtBrennanblog.com in the wake of that cruel, cruel beating.

ESPN.com currently has an article up dealing with Brennan's quest to sweep up the broken remains of his football dreams from wherever Georgia scattered them. He's set to represent the South as one of three QBs in the Senior Bowl. Says Brennan:

The only thing that bowl game did for me was that it gave me great motivation and determination for these next few months. . . [t]he fact that we lost that game and the way we lost it kind of brought me back down a level. I've really attacked my workouts and been able to get ready. This is my chance to show what I can do when everything's the same for everybody.

Adorable! "When everything's the same for everybody?" Is that code for "my team was awful at the Sugar Bowl?" (Hint: it is, they were, and Brennan played poorly too).

Did any sports media outlet follow up on how Brennan's doing at Senior Bowl practices so far? Why, yes:

Colt Brennan/QB/Hawaii: Brennan's inadequate arm strength is obvious to all in attendance. His passes lack any velocity which gives the defensive backs extra time to break up his throws, something that's been a common occurrence.

'Lo, how the overrated have continued to fall! We can't help but to harbor some glee that Brennan's draft stock continues to plummet. Perhaps it's because former coach June Jones, in boasting of Brennan's abilities, derided Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow as a "system quarterback."

Hm. Actually, it's exactly that.

Great Recruting Article on College Football News

If you're not too familiar with the recruiting scene this year, College Football News has a great primer up.

Read and be enlightened!

Hunter Bumps UF Class to #1

With the addition of five star defensive tackle Omar Hunter, the Gators now have the number one recruiting class in the country, according to Rivals.com.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Omar Hunter SMASH! LOVE UF! LOVE BLOOD!

5 star defensive tackle Omar Hunter is going to UF! This is a major recruit for the Gators. Here's what he had to say:


"Florida is a great place . . . I love the coaches, the players, and the recruits coming in with me. I fell in love with Florida."


Hunter does not look like a man who loves anything, other than perhaps the feeling of flesh, bone, and sinew tearing under his iron grip. That's ok by me, however.

"Blood! Blood for the football God! SMASH!"

Conspiracy!

UF President Bernie Machen has endorsed John McCain for President.

This is a conspiracy! McCain tossed the coin at the start of the 2006 BCS National Championship. Florida won the toss (electing to kick) and then the game.

Now this year, Machen endorses McCain? You-rig-a-coin-toss-I-endorse-you-for-President? It's obvious.

Monday, January 21, 2008

SNIPED!

The Gators have sniped former Miami commit Ramon Buchanan. Earlier this weekend, the Miami Herald had reported that Buchanan would definitely be a 'Cane. Oops!

Buchanan is from Palm Bay High (Brevard County! What, WHAT!) and is the #2 safety prospect in the country. Palm Bay High also produced Reggie Nelson, who was crucial to the Gators' 2006 National Championship effort.

Buchanan is expected to play on defense, but may switch to offense as a wide receiver.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Former UCF Stand-Out Samuel gets 5th Career Playoff Interception, Sets Up Brady for TD

Live-blogged notes as The Persistent Fool watches New England-San Diego . . .

One of our favorite former UCF (Golden) Knights player, Asante Samuel, intercepted Philip Rivers, and set Brady up for a touchdown shortly thereafter. It's his fifth career interception in the playoffs.

We just love this guy. We have fond memories of watching his dreadlocks streak across the field at the Citrus Bowl.

You can see Samuel's dreadlocked contemporary Atari Bigby start for the Packers later tonight.

Great Expectations

College Football News has laid out its pre-season rankings. Here's where they put Florida teams:

4. Florida 2007 Record: 9-4
2006 might have been Urban Meyer coaching Ron Zook's team, 2007 might have been about restocking the shelves, and now 2008 will be all about Meyer's program getting back to a national title level. Top receiver Andre Caldwell is gone, two starters have to be replaced on the offensive line, and pass rushing star Derrick Harvey and strong safety Tony Joiner have to be replaced. That's about it. The running game will be better with USC transfer Emmanuel Moody expected to rock and roll right away, while Tim Tebow and Percy Harvin might just be the two best offensive players in America.

31. South Florida 2007 Record: 9-4
A breakout season is now marred by the blowout loss to Oregon in the Sun Bowl and the story of LB Ben Moffitt not doing any of his own schoolwork. The return of QB Matt Grothe should help turn things back around on the field, and he has a loaded offense to work with losing just one starter, OT Walt Walker. The defense loses Moffitt, star CBs Mike Jenkins and Trae Williams, and two D linemen, but DE George Selvie is back along with five other starters.

43. Miami 2007 Record: 5-7
Is Jacory Harris ready to roll right away? The superstar recruit, and several other true freshmen from a loaded haul, might be thrown to the wolves with Robert Marve the only returning quarterback on scholarship thanks to Kirby Freeman bailing. As expected, DE Calais Campbell and S Kenny Phillips bolted early, but there are enough good pieces returning to hope for a stronger year from the D. The offense has a strong backfield, but everything else has to undergo an overhaul. Expect plenty of true freshmen from a great recruiting class to see time.

47. Florida State 2007 Record: 7-6
Who's going to be welcomed back in the mix after the cheating fiasco? With Xavier Lee giving up and trying to move on to the NFL, the offense is all Drew Weatherford's to run. WR Greg Carr and RB Antone Smith are two of the ACC's most talented skill players, while RB Preston Parker should make more of an impact. The right side of the O line has to be replaced and bombing PK Gary Cismesia is gone, along with DT Andre Fluellen and LB Geno Hayes, but the defense gets back eight starters including S Myron Rolle and LB Derek Nicholson.

68. UCF 2007 Record: 10-4
Kevin Smith expectedly, and wisely, jumped to the NFL early taking away the entire offense with him. Also gone is QB Kyle Israel meaning Michael Greco, a big, strong thrower, will get the first look this off-season. There are enough good returning players on offense to hope the overall production doesn't take a tumble, but it'll be the defense that carries the team early on with everyone of note in the back seven returning. The big loss is on the line with the graduation of end Leger Douzable.

81. Florida Atlantic 2007 Record: 8-5
Led by QB Rusty Smith, the defending Sun Belt champions should have one of the league's best attacks. Ten starters return on offense, while the defense should be fantastic up front with six of the front seven back. The secondary might be a little bit of an issue losing safeties Kris Bartels and Taheem Aceveda, but Tavious Polo and Corey Small form the league's best corner pair.

119. Florida International 2007 Record: 1-11 U
Mario Cristobal's first year got better as it went on, and now all the lumps taken should payoff with ten starters returning on offense and eight on defense. Can QB Paul McCall finally get the passing game going? Will A'Mod Ned and Julian Reams provide a running game? The Golden Panthers won't win the Sun Belt, but they'll be better.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Bushell Picks UF

The Gainesville Sun reports cornerback Adrian Bushell has picked UF. Bushell is a 4 star prospect. This gives Florida the 4th ranked recruiting class in the country, according to Rivals.com.

Studying the football entrails, Rivals.com ranks the top ten recruiting classes like so:
1. Notre Dame
2. Alabama
3. Georgia
4. Florida
5. Ohio State
6. Miami
7. Florida State
8. Oklahoma
9. UCLA
10. Texas

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Recruitment Ranking Update

For what it's worth, Rivals.com says UF now has the 4th best recruiting class for 2008.
UF is the highest ranked class with under 20 members.


UM and FSU have the 5th and 8th ranked classes, respectively. UCF's class is ranked 60th in the country, not too far ahead of USF (#63).

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

UF Adds Linebacker McCray

The Gators have added Linebacker Lerentee McCray who brings a helluva lot of speed (along with his kick ass first name) to the UF line.

McCray had previously committed to UM-- he decommitted in December. He also toyed with the idea of FSU before going to UF. How playfully coquettish of you, Lerentree!

"Oh, I do simply loooove the UF line!"





Monday, January 14, 2008

UCF Lands Decent 3 Star Recruit

UCF has landed a decent three star recruit in Steven Robinson. Robinson, nicknamed "Moose," will play right guard for the Knights, according to the Tallahassee Democrat. Why does he go by Moose?

"[T]hey kept saying I was as big and strong as a moose."

Well said, sir. Moose benches 425 pounds and squats 505. The ratio of weight benched to Moose's ACT score is roughly 22.37 to 1. The 40th percentile! Excelsior!

Yes, The Persistent Fool loves it when newspapers publish recruits ACT scores.

Moose picked UCF over South Carolina, Minnesota, and those wife-abandoning USF bovines.

UCF Hires Joe Tumpkin as Linebackers Coach

UCF has hired Joe Tumpkin as Linebackers coach, reports The Orlando Sentinel. Tumpkin is a lateral hire from SMU. We at The Persistent Fool always worry about lateral hires from C-USA, especially lateral hires from a 1-11 SMU team that ranks in ESPN's Bottom Ten.

Yes, Tumpkin did help coach the defense that ranked 24th nationally against the run in 2006. Well, how did SMU do against the run in 2007? Sportsrating.typead.com has compiled the 2007 rushing defense statistics (adjusted for opposition) and placed SMU at 106th nationally. Please understand that this is out of 120 teams. Sports Illustrated doesn't break down national rankings based on passing and rushing. But SI does note that the Mustang defense was 117th in defense overall.

Great hire, Knights. Great hire.

Would-Be Recruit Too Dumb For UF, Mired in Div II Purgatory

The Orlando Sentinel reports that would-be UF recruit Franklin Green is apparently too dumb for UF. "[A]cademics have forced him to look elsewhere for a place to play college ball." Green will likely end up at Division II School Georgia Southern.

Evidently, Green is a mental midget. And to think- we were just mocking Florida recruit and intellectual giant Ricky Barnum for his sub-par ACT scores. Oh well. The Gators recruiting class remains ranked at #6 by Rivals.com.

"Division II Football," by Gustav Dore

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others...

A number of top schools remain in contention for cornerback Brandon Harris of Booker T. Washington. Scout.com ranks Harris as the #5 recruit at his position. He's known for his bursts of speed and the fact that, apparently, he "shows no fear."

Where does Harris want to play? He maintains that he feels equally strong about UF, UM, LSU, Ohio State and . . . UCF?! He'd be an especially great pick-up for UF, UM, or UCF. UF, as, uh, every game this past season indicated, sorely needs help on defense. He's vital to UM, given the decommittment of Patrick Jackson. As for UCF? Listen, the Knights need anyone who is nationally ranked fifth at his position.

Gators Recruit Fullback Pridemore

The Gainesville Sun has reported that fullback T.J. Pridemore has committed to UF during an official visit this past weekend.

Pridemore is a physical, blocking fullback. With this pick-up, Florida has the #6 rated recruiting class for 2008. Florida is also the highest ranked recruiting class with fewer than 20 members at this point.

FSU and UM currently have the 4th and 5th ranked classes, respectively.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Amazing Comments #1

Latest in our series of posts-designed-to-keep-you-reading-through-the-off-season, The Persistent Fool Presents: Amazing Comments!

Periodically, we'll find some of the best comments left on sports websites. They don't have to be idiotic sounding comments but, let's be honest, almost all of them will be.

For our first installment, we present this unadulturated comment, a response to a Miami Herald article noting that Cornelius Ingram is staying at Florida for his senior season. Let's repeat that a few times: the story is about Ingram staying, staying, staying, STAYING!

Without further ado:

Ha,ha,ha, scUM, AKA gaytors are losing players left and right!
Four losses, and another loss to the "U" is on the way!
Ha,ha,ha,ha! scUM=gaytors!
Ha,ha,ha,ha!

Posted by: UM Graduate | January 10, 2008 at 11:35 AM

Posted by "UM GRADUATE?!" Wow. This guy is on par with recent UF recruit and intellectual giant Ricky Barnum.

UCF 2008 Scheduling Update

UCF has scheduled a game with Boston College in 2008. UCF will travel to BC. In 2011, BC will visit UCF for a home game.

BC will join Miami as the Knights' second ACC opponent in 2008. This means that Rutgers will not be on the schedule, as UCF had been negotiating.

OL Barnum Commits to UF, Probably Unable to Spell "UF"

Ricky Barnum of Lake Gibson High has committed to play for the Gators. He played guard in high school, but will have the opportunity to compete for a starting job at center.

The Gainesville Sun reports that Barnum scored an 18 on his ACT, making it highly questionable that the recruit can even spell "U-F." Barnum's score is not only below the national average, but is roughly equivalent to scoring 860-890 on the SAT. This score puts the offensive lineman in the 33rd percentile (Ricky, hint: this means roughly two-thirds of test takers are smarter than you).

Of course, he's been recruited to protect Tim Tebow, not to study non-fermi liquid behavior in the U1-xLuxCu5 system. With the addition of Barnum, the Gators now have the seventh ranked recruiting class in the country.

Equation . (3)
I don't need to know how to track no antiferromagnetic transition in U1-xLuxCu5!

Friday, January 11, 2008

With New Recruit, UF Closer to Developing Running Game

UF has landed fast-as-Hell recruit Jeff Demps. Demps is ranked number 6 in the nation among potential running back recruits by Rivals.com. Landing Demps boosts UF's 2008 recruiting class to #10 in the country.

Demps will be used in a variety of roles, including running back, receiver, and punt returner. This is definitely great news for UF fans, who have suffered a nearly-complete lack of a running game this past season.

Yes, Another Flip-Flop...

This time from UCF's Joe Burnett. While it was previously thought that Burnett would enter the NFL draft along with his buddy Kevin Smith, Burnett says this is not longer the case. The Orlando Sentinel quotes Burnett:

"Instead of rushing my dream of playing in the NFL, I know another year of playing college football is a 10-times-better decision and I look forward to improving at UCF and pursuing my professional goals following the 2008 season."


Obviously, UCF benefits by Burnett returning for his Senior season. This past season, he had 64 tackles and a C-USA high 6 interceptions. He also had a punt return for a touchdown.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Ingram Flip-Flops Yet Again

Ingram must be a friggin' ninja, because he has flip-flopped yet again. He's staying, he's going, he's staying, he's going, this time, honest to God we swear, he's staying. Good news for the Gator Offense, which will continue to be incredible. The defense? Uh...

Cornelius Ingram, presented as a pair of flip-flops. This time, we're grateful.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Blackney hired as UCF's Secondary Coach

In a press release today, UCF announced that Gary Blackney has been hired as the Knight's secondary coach.

Blackney was Maryland's defensive coordinator from 2001-2005. The Terrapins ranked in the top 30 in scoring defense four of those five seasons.

He also has previous head coaching experience at Bowling Green State University. His record there was 60-50-2. Blackney's team had 11 and 10 wins in his first two seasons at BGSU. Evidently, though, he couldn't coach players he recruited as well: in the next eight seasons, BGSU ended up with a winning record only twice.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

FSU's Geeeennnnoooo to enter draft

FSU Linebacker Geno Hayes is no longer enrolled in school, and thus will likely be headed to the draft.

Hayes famously boasted the Tim Tebow "was going down" and that FSU would "shatter his dreams" . . . shortly before UF clobbered FSU, 45-12 at The Swamp. Hayes proceeded to make only one tackle in the entire game, not counting the elderly journalist he pushed after the game was over.

To be fair, he's still a better defensive player than he is a prognosticator.

UF's Harvey and Flip-Flopping Ingram Going Pro

UF players Derrick Harvey and Cornelius Ingram are both going pro. Harvey's news is not unexpected. Ingram had been waffling back and forth on whether to go pro, but ultimately decided to enter the draft. Ingram is not expected to go in the top 100.

OSU Mix Tape: The Post-Game Dirge

The Persistent Fool has mixed together some of the best statements about the BCS National Championship made by newspapers in Ohio. Here are some of my favorites:

From the Columbus Dispatch:

Left tackle Alex Boone said offensive players were hollering at one another in the second half as the Tigers began to pull away.

"We're boys, we get frustrated and everybody started pointing the finger at somebody," Boone said. "Guys were trying to fight each other, getting (ticked) because they didn't think people were helping them and all that stuff, and just selfishness."

Also from the Dispatch:

If at first you don't succeed against an SEC team in a bowl game, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again. But if anyone says the Buckeyes deserved to walk away from this one with a trophy, they're lying.

And a Haiku:

Chiseled makeover --

Jim Tressel's Mount Rushmore mug

gets Groucho glasses


From the OSU Student Newspaper:

Superman has kryptonite. OSU has the SEC.

We at The Persistent Fool have been waiting to hear someone say "OSU experienced a natural disaster in New Orleans," but apparently, no major media outlet is insensitive enough.

Monday, January 7, 2008

O-H...Oh, No! LSU Makes Buckeyes Look Awful

Tigers devour the Buckeyes, 38-24. As someone who attended the National Championship last year, let me say: "Hell yeah! SEC Speed! The Big Ten is the most overrated conference ev-ah!"

Seriously, though. The Persistent Fool harbors a deep and abiding distaste for that awful Big Ten boring rustbelt football. Ohio State fans, seriously. Yikes. The Persistent Fool really, really, hopes someone will start penalizing Ohio State for playing an extraordinarily easy schedule, every damn year.

The SEC is the best conference in college football, and the Big Ten is the most overrated. Buckeyes, you look stupid two years in a row.

Ha!

June Jones, Welcome to C-USA

SMU, without a doubt one of the worst programs in the country, has hired Hawaii coach June Jones. Jones is best remembered for leading WAC school Hawaii to an undefeated regular season and into the Sugar Bowl, where Georgia throttled the living Hell out of them.

Welcome to C-USA, Jones. Let's see if you can breath life into another moribund program. Leave the damn Hawaiian shirt at home, though.

Wikipedia notes that this is a Hawaiian shirt with a "fanciful" design.

UCF's Joe Burnett Also To Enter Draft

It seems that UCF's cornerback and punt returner Joe Burnett will, like 24K, also enter the draft, and skip out on his senior season.

(Thanks to ever-alert reader "Miss UCF Has-Been" for pointing this one out).

In other news, Kyle Israel will still not be any sort of pro prospect. Maybe he can hold a clipboard as a back-up for Sigma Chi's Flag Football Team. I'm just not really sure he has the football IQ for it.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Kevin Smith is Going Pro!

Well. Damn it.

ESPN has announced that UCF's Kevin Smith is going to forgo his senior season and go pro, despite his many, many, many earlier statements that he was staying.

It's thought that Smith would be drafted in the second round.

UCF fans can look forward to a season of mediocrity next year.

Good luck in the draft, 24K. UCF couldn't have won the C-USA Championship without you.

"Hats" In Les Miles Own Word's

Sports Illustrated reports LSU Coach Les Miles thoughts and musings about hats. As you know, hats are a vitally important topic in the public sphere, a topic that cries out for more discussion in the national media. Here Miles's feelings about hats, in his own words:

"For as long as I've been coaching, I've been wearing a hat."
"It doesn't stay on my head all the time."
"It's kind of important to me that there's a little high-rise on the front end of the hat. I like a traditional cap if you don't mind."
"Hats really have changed. They come down a little flatter in the front."
"This is the first time anyone's noticed."

Transcendent!

5 Star Recruit Patchan Picks UF, UM Fans Curse Fate

Yesterday, 5 Star Offensive Line Recruit Matt Patchan picked UF over UM at a press conference. It's a good bump for Florida, whose recruiting class is ranked number 12 in the country. Miami's is ranked fifth.

The Miami Herald live-blogged during the conference, and by reading the comments, you can pick the exact point at which the UM fans began rioting: 1:39.

Fans expressed their outrage that Patchan did not choose to attend UM, where his father played:

"you will never be part of this U fam ever again and to be honest you poser ass never was, freaking hater. Patchan ass sellout... i promise U this.. cory luiget and fortson will own your gibberish ass in college ......"

Florida fans soon logged on to gloat, prompting this awesome response from a semi-literate Miami fan:

"Gators have not beat Miami since 1983. Why would you talk sh@t to a UM fan. This isnt your little Georgia rivalry that you dominate. Until you beat us shut the F@CK up. Quarter of a century without beating the U."

Of course, the two teams have not played on a yearly basis since 1987. UM's 5-7 season also makes it easier to "talk sh@t." Especially given Miami's lost to the, uh, juggernaut that is NC State.

Miami fans also were quick to call Patchan a racist:
"Plain and simple, the RACIST just did'nt want to play for a Black Coach."
Because when you commit to a better team that plays in a better conference and that recently won a national championship, racism is probably the most reasonable explanation for spurning the worse team.

patchan sr says the decision was razon thin?
BS
it was black and white

randy is black
urban is white

its alright
cause its all white !

Ouch! Remember college football fans: when you lose out on a recruit because your storied program is in shambles, racism is definitely to blame. Nice poetry though, I can't top that.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Following USF Player Moffitt's Divorce

Yesterday, The Persistent Fool mentioned USF player Moffitt's recent divorce proceedings, and the allegations by his soon-to-be-ex-wife Shauna Moffitt that the and her twin sister wrote papers for him. Shauna also claims that Ben Moffitt cannot spell. Of course, considering that Moffitt played for USF, that's really not much of a surprise, is it?

We'll be tracking the divorce through records available from the Sumter County Clerk of Courts. Nothing interesting has happened yet, but we will be sure to talk endlessly about anything interesting that comes up. The next hearing date is set for 1/15 at 9 AM before Judge Morley.

Friday, January 4, 2008

USF's Moffitt Unable to Spell, Properly Use Contraception

Many of you know that The Persistent Fool detests USF. A large part of that is due to the fact that this program lapped rival UCF, another program competing for respect. Another part of it is the fact that USF was the highest ranked football program in the state of Florida for a brief part of this season- that was heresy. Then, of course, there are the fans:
No caption could possibly do this image justice.

So it warmed the cockles of The Persistent Fool's heart to hear of USF linebacker Ben Moffitt's recent woes. Ah, sweet, sweet, Schadenfreude. The St. Petersburg Times reports that formerly-model husband and father of two Moffitt is going through a divorce with his wife of five (5!) years, Shauna.

Shauna has stated to the media that she wrote papers for Moffitt and took online classes for him. Additionally, Shauna's sister claims that she also wrote papers for Moffitt. Perhaps the most alarming/hilarious comment from Shauna Moffitt:

"[H]e doesn't know how to spell."

Ouch. In addition to failing to master the intricacies of the English language, Moffitt also does not understand the nuances of birth control. As the St. Pete Times article notes:

"Shauna Moffitt said Thursday that her husband left her with their two children, ages 5 and 3, on Nov. 11 - the day after the Bulls ended a three-game losing streak with a win at Syracuse - and has had limited contact with them since."

We should all feel bad for Shauna, whose now-deadbeat husband "has not done anything to support his family financially" since leaving the family's home. We should also feel bad for Shauna because she looks like she should be at home living under a bridge, waiting to eat unwary travelers.
Shauna Moffitt and family, circa 1/08.



Last Glimpse of the Orange Bowl...Perhaps You'd Like to Buy a Part?

Tonight is the last chance for a national TV audience to glimpse the Orange Bowl before that much-beloved, much-maligned, decrepit old structure gets torn down. At 8 o'clock...the Offense-Defense All-American Bowl for high-school seniors.

Wow. Uh, gee.

But there are also a number of ways you can get your greedy paws on a piece of history. Much of the stadium will be auctioned off, including the urinals. Fans can also buy their specific seat from when they were season ticket holders.

And yes, the actual Orange Bowl (not held in the Orange Bowl) was so uninspiring, that this is the most interesting Orange Bowl related piece of commentary we could generate. Look, its a dry hole, folks. The Miami Herald called the game "relatively competitive," which, really, is a charitable characterization.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

New Photo For The Persistent Fool

We've got a new photo for our banner!

This was taken by Matt Pollitt, a former photographer for the UCF Future. UCF had just beaten Marshall, 23-13 to end what was then the longest losing streak in the nation. Students rushed the field, pushing past a line of police officers to tear down the goalposts.

Exultant fans smashed the goal post, and transported large pieces of it to the Reflection Pond on the UCF Campus. Eventually, university police chased the students out of the Pond and confiscated the thoroughly shattered remains of the goal post.

UCF's Reflection Pond

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Mining ColtBrennanblog.com For All It's Worth

Georgia tore Hawaii's soul apart in a brutal Sugar Bowl, smashing the reputation of the WAC and undermining the respectability of non-BCS conferences everywhere. As Ivan Maisel wrote, "The result Tuesday night is what the BCS and its bowls feared when they opened their doors to college football's wretched refuse. Hawaii looked like a huddled mass unable to let its quarterback breathe free." Ouch.

In the wake of this epic beating, Every Day Should Be Saturday has drawn our attention to "Colt Brennan Blog." EDSBS points out one of the greatest blog comments ever written:
  • DON HO // January 1, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Mele Kalikimaka, thanks ALOT for that performance 41-10!!! I just got kicked out out of heaven for that performance! I don’t even like football!!!! Owwww It’s hot down here!!!! Everybody hates The Hukilau and Tiny Bubbles THANKS A LOT COLT

A plethora of other amazing comments exist, however, and cry out for exposure. Consider the comments of Middle Schooler Puamai’ole Kala-Reantaso, whose name defies attempts at pronunciation:

"I cried for you when you got injured and prayed that everything would be okay."

I'm sure it was a tearful night for little Puamai’ole Kala-Reantaso. Georgia sacked Brennan eight times, knocked him down a Helluva lot more, and generally used the quarterback as a meat puppet. Get the kleenex.

Consider also the sage comments of Aaron Lepkowski: "Please someone tell me, this guy is thee best Qb in all of college history in my opinion. If he can play another year he can get the heisman!" There are so many things wrong with this statement, it makes my brain hurt.

Another poster on ColtBrennanblog.com pointed out that "Hawaii had a good season but was ultimatly [sic] exposed." Of course, Brennan's had problems with exposing himself before, hasn't he? I think Georgia might have consented, though.

I'll leave you with one final comment: "Colt was a winner the day he turned his back from worldly gains..." Yes, Colt Brennan is apparently Jesus. No clue as to whether he will rise from the dead after the Sugar Bowl.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Hawaii Band Also Plays Song From Musical for Some Reason

As if Michigan's show tune oriented halftime show was not awful enough, Hawaii's band played "Over the Rainbow" as part of its half time show.

As Wikipedia notes:

The song's plaintive melody and simple lyrics depict a pre-adolescent girl's desire to escape from the "hopeless jumble" of this world, from the sadness of raindrops to the bright new world "over the rainbow." It expresses the childlike faith that a door will magically be opened to a place where "troubles melt like lemon-drops."

An apt halftime selection. The Sugar Bowl is proving to be a "hopeless jumble" for the Rainbow Warriors, who are most definitely playing like pre-adolescent girls. I think the only thing melting like a lemon drop, however, is Hawaii's line.

Michigan beats UF, Performs Emasculating Halftime Show

Earlier today, Michigan beat UF in a fantastic game, 41-35.

The game is most notable, however, for Michigan's utterly emasculating halftime show. The Michigan band performed Broadway show tunes. Yes, Broadway show tunes.

As if performing a song from your girlfriend's favorite musical, Wicked, was not emasculating enough, the Michigan band also performed a selection from Hairspray.

What is Hairspray about? I'm glad you asked:

"[T]he '50s are out and change is in the air. Baltimore's Tracy Turnblad, a big girl with big hair and an even bigger heart, has only one passion--to dance. She wins a spot on the local TV dance program, "The Corny Collins Show" and, overnight, is transformed from outsider to irrepressible teen celebrity. But can a trendsetter in dance and fashion vanquish the program's reigning princess, win the heart of heartthrob Link Larkin, and integrate a television show without denting her 'do?"

Riveting, riveting stuff. The Michigan band also played “Spring Time for Hitler” from the musical The Producers. Wow. Gee, uh, gee whiz. This was easily the best show tune/football tie-in since the UCF band thought it would be a fine idea to play a selection from Les Miserables.


"Go Blue!"

Sugar Bowl: Hawaii to Prove Selves Unworthy of BCS

As the Sugar Bowl begins, Hawaii has already begun to prove itself unworthy of a place in the BCS picture.

But what discussion of Hawaii would be complete without discussion of Colt Brennan, a player who has been re-branded by the national sports media as a likeable maverick, a charming rogue. And what discussions would be complete without ESPN characterizing Hawaii as a home for second chances. Or possibly some vaguely racist discussion of the Rainbow Warrior's pre-game dance ritual.

I haven't yet heard the obligatory oblique reference to Hawaii QB Colt Brennan's checkered past yet. So here we go, spelled out for you:

While a member of the football team at Colorado, Brennan entered the dorm room of a female student uninvited. She claimed that he "exposed himself and fondled her." In any case, Brennan ended up pleading guilty to charges of burglary and trespassing. A guilty verdict for unlawful sexual contact was later vacated.

As Colt Brennan said, "That's why I think I got into that situation. I took things for granted." Consent, evidently, is one of those things.

Rose Bowl a Soul-Crushing Bore as Anticipated

Wow...Trojans tear apart the Fighting Zooks, 49-17. Who could have anticipated it?

Once again, this was a classic Rose Bowl match-up featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team. Wheeeee.

Rant: The Rose Bowl is Terrible This Year

It will all too soon be time for the most overrated game of the year, the Rose Bowl. ESPN would like to remind you of this fact, every couple of minutes.

ESPN would also like to remind you that this is a "classic" Rose Bowl game, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team. Were you aware that this is a classic Rose Bowl game, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team? I was, in fact, aware that this is a classic Rose Bowl game, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team.

In so often reminding viewers that this is a classic Rose Bowl game, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team, ESPN seems to be acknowledging that this is a match-up no one wants to see. USC is an obvious choice, of course, being Pac-10 co-champion, sharing that honor with an anemic Arizona State team. The match-up everyone wants to see would have been USC versus Georgia. Those are the teams that, we're also frequently reminded by ESPN, "are playing the best football right now."

By the way, were you aware that this is a classic Rose Bowl game, featuring Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team?

Instead of a genuinely exciting Rose Bowl, we have the classic Rose Bowl pap, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team. Of course, this would be the 9-3 Fighting Zooks. Isn't that exciting? While earlier in the season anyone could (and Stanford and Oregon did) beat USC, this is no longer the case. The Zooks are not going to break the Trojans anytime soon. This classic Rose Bowl game, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team should be a brutal drubbing.

Of course, this game is being crammed down our throats because of ESPN's tremendous Pac-10 and Big Ten bias. ESPN has the contract to broadcast the games from both conferences, and so it behooves the network to pump up any game its show ponies play in.

But that's a rant for another day. In the mean time, enjoy your classic Rose Bowl game, featuring a Pac-10 team versus a Big Ten team.

Which no one wants to see.

Tampa Tribune Reports Awfulness of USF

Today's Tampa Tribune expounds on the awfulness of USF.

Brett McMurphy notes that USF lost because:
  1. USF was severely outplayed.
  2. USF was severely outcoached.
  3. The Bulls were full of themselves.
  4. The Bulls are notoriously bad performing front runners.
  5. Oregon had a better plan.
So in other words...USF = Awful.

UCF fan, wrap this around you like a warm, warm, blanket. At least the Knights won their conference.

FSU fan, know that you are not alone in collapsing in a bowl game. Again.

UF fan, keep feeling superior, knowing that you have the undisputed best program in the state.

UM fan, you are still so fucked. Seriously.

Happy New Year!